No Means No!: Teaching children about personal boundaries, respect and consent; empowering kids by respecting their choices and their right to say, 'No!', by Jayneen Sanders
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No Means No!: Teaching children about personal boundaries, respect and consent; empowering kids by respecting their choices and their right to say, 'No!', by Jayneen Sanders
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'No Means No!' is a children's picture book about an empowered little girl who has a very strong and clear voice in all issues, especially those relating to her body and personal boundaries. This book can be read to children from 3 to 9 years. It is a springboard for discussions regarding children's choices and their rights. The 'Note to the Reader' at the beginning of the book and the 'Discussion Questions' on the final pages, guide and enhance this essential discussion. It is crucial that our children, from a very young age, are taught to have a clear, strong voice in regards to their rights — especially about their bodies. In this way, they will have the confidence to speak up when they are unhappy or feel uncomfortable in any situation. A strong, confident voice as a young child converts to a strong, confident pre-teen, teenager and adult. With the prevalence today of online and offline bullying and various forms of abuse, such as physical, emotional and sexual abuse; our young people need to learn (from a young age) to always speak up when their rights are not being respected. The aim of this book is to empower young children and to give them a voice so they can grow up into empowered adults. When a child, teenager or adult says, ‘No!’ to any form of coercion, this should be immediately respected. A world where ‘No!’ does actually mean ‘No!’ can be a world with far less violence and increased respect for humankind. By educating our children to have true respect for one another, this world can be a much safer and more positive place. Body Safety Education (aka sexual abuse prevention education) empowers girls and boys through knowledge, and teaches them they have the right to say, ‘No’ and to respect other’s personal boundaries. Both girls and boys need to learn to ask for consent and this can be taught from a very young age. Some of the scenarios in this book are typical of approaches used by sexual abusers (sexual predators/molesters/pedophiles) when grooming children for sexual abuse. Their aim is to desensitize the child to having their personal space violated and desensitize them to touch. For more information on Body Safety Education and how to teach it to your child go to www.secrets.info
No Means No!: Teaching children about personal boundaries, respect and consent; empowering kids by respecting their choices and their right to say, 'No!', by Jayneen Sanders- Amazon Sales Rank: #2912 in Books
- Published on: 2015-03-25
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 10.00" h x .7" w x 8.00" l, .21 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 26 pages
From the Inside Flap Note to the ReaderIt is crucial that our children, from a very young age, are taught to have a clear, strong voice in regards to their rights -- especially about their bodies. In this way, they will have the confidence to speak up when they are unhappy or feel uncomfortable in any situation. A strong, confident voice as a young child converts to a strong, confident pre-teen, teenager and adult. With the prevalence today of online and offline bullying and various forms of abuse, such as physical, emotional and sexual; our young people need to learn (from a young age) to always speak up when their rights are not being respected.My aim in writing this book is to empower young children so they can grow up into empowered adults. When a child, teenager or adult says, 'No!' to any form of coercion, this should be immediately respected. A world where 'No!' does actually mean 'No!' can be a world with far less violence and increased respect for humankind. By educating our children to have true respect for one another, this world can be a much safer and more positive place. Read this book with your child often. The Discussion Questions on pages 24 and 25 are important in helping you to draw out the learning for your child.
From the Back Cover Some points to note:In most cases, each character 'asks' the little girl's permission before or while engaging with her. This is important to note, as children (and teenagers and adults) should always be given the opportunity to consent or not. Just as importantly, they need to learn to ask when engaging with another person (especially as they grow into adulthood). If we force a child to show physical affection, what we are basically saying to them is that their wishes don't matter. The child should give hugs and kisses willingly, and all adults need to respect the child's choice. You may also wish to explain to people your child comes regularly into contact with, that 'manners' involve treating each other with respect and not forced and 'consent-assumed' physical contact. It is important to note that adults outside the family also ask permission from children, e.g. when a child is at the dentist, the dentist should ask the child if it is okay to look inside his or her mouth. This models respect for another person's personal boundaries. The scenarios in this book relate to personal space and a child's autonomy over their body. Of course, if a child is told that it's time to go to bed, or to clean their teeth, then, No Means No! is not an appropriate response. Another situation might be where a teacher or parent asks a child to hold hands with another person for safety reasons. Use the Discussion Questions on pages 24 and 25 to establish with your child when it is their right to say, 'No!' You could list these scenarios together, so the guidelines are clear for you and your child. Lastly, as your child grows, provide them with choice, e.g. Would you like eggs or cereal for breakfast? What will you choose to wear today? This way your child has a say in decisions that relate directly to them. This children's book is about giving children choice, respecting their choices and personal boundaries, asking them for their consent and empowering them as they grow into adulthood.
About the Author Jayneen (Jay) Sanders is an experienced primary school teacher and a successful children's book author. She is also the mother of three teenage girls and has been a primary school councillor for over seven years. Her time spent in primary schools inspired her to ask: ‘What are we doing in schools to protect our children from sexual interference?’ When she realised very little was actually being done, she decided to write books to help parents, carers and teachers to broach the subject of self-protection and to encourage children to speak up.
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Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful. Strong & appropriate msg for my 2yo daughter! By Maureen Eigen My daughter is 2, nearing 3, and she likes to read this book, which makes me so happy. It is a sweet, shorter story that empowers her about her words! We have been able to use this when family members try to tickle her and she doesn't want to, or they want kisses and she doesn't want to, I quietly remind her that she can choose otherwise and suggest "a high five or to blow a kiss," or with the tickling I tell her that No means No and she can go tell them to stop (I usually call her over to me so that it does stop but she has the opportunity to use her strong voice and have it heard instead of me telling the adult to stop.) She responds so well to it and I am full of joy to have this book as a tool to help me raise a daughter with respect for her body and choices, and the knowledge that her No needs to be honored, too. I recommend this book!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful. easy to understand and provides a lot of examples that ... By Joshua E Gossett I bought this for my 2.5 yo son. I wanted to start education about body boundaries early for 2 reasons: the understanding of how sexual predators violate simple boundaries first and realizing how prevalant a problem sexual abuse is and because of society's view (and many family members) that kids need to hug and kiss them. So, I felt it was important, even with my son being so young. And he loves this book! I was so excited! It's his "no book." And I overheard him playing with his little hot wheel cars-one car told the other car, "if you don't want to play, just say no, and that's ok!" I know he learned that from this book. It's simple, easy to understand and provides a lot of examples that really make sense to kids. Bravo! We love this book!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. Not clear about "no", takes saying "no" too far By MH I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker working with children 3 to 18 years old. I was really hopeful that this book would be useful for me to use in therapy with the younger children. However, it takes "no" to the extreme and encourages children to say "no" in instances where it is unnecessary or could be misconstrued by the child and then used inappropriately (for example, to their parent). I don't feel that I can use this book with young children and expect them to be able to clearly differentiate when it's appropriate to say "no". I've found better books.
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